Food Franchise

Kansas City, Mo.After years of being overlooked and neglected, the Midwestern metropolitan Kansas City is reportedly seeing a therapist to counter what are being described as “feelings of inadequacy.”

Despite less crime, a larger population and simply being a more pleasant place to visit, the renowned City of Fountains has failed to get out of the shadow of its cross-state nemesis St. Louis.

Many claim that the problem stems from simply being “too damn nice.”

“Being elected as having the cleanest tap water in an American city, well that’s pleasant, but it doesn’t earn you much respect,” resident Kay Gates lamented. “In St. Louis, if you complain about the tap water, they’ll cut you with the business end of a broken Bud Light bottle.”

Others blame the city’s name, which has resulted in problems ranging from reams of misaddressed letters to hundreds of thousands of confused fifth-graders nationwide.

While many events have contributed to the recent downturn in the city’s self respect, the sports world has been especially cruel to the city. The tipping point seems to be a pitiful season start from the Kansas City Royals on the heels of the St. Louis Cardinals World Championship recent win.

Another significant sports blow came with the 1995 move of the Las Angeles Rams to St. Louis – just a year after the retirement of Kansas City legend Joe Montana – and St. Louis’ subsequent Super Bowl win in 2000. This series of events had left the western city feeling emasculated.

“I just don’t understand why Missouri doesn’t recognize us as the crown of the state. We’re better at so much,” insisted KC resident Bob Adler. “I mean, we have the whole barbecue thing going for us. All they have is toasted ravioli and pizza that tastes like cardboard. What’s so great about that?”

Adler added that, in his opinion, the Gateway Arch looked like “half of a 120-story zero.”

Therapy for Kansas City will include several steps including:

* Repeating self-affirming phrases such as “I am a unique, special and important city.”

* Visualizing itself as the state capitol

* Keeping a journal of successes

* Recruiting an NBA franchise.

When contacted for this story, the city of St. Louis was unaware of the issue, stating “Aren’t they in Kansas?”

Related posts:

1. Kansas City, Mo.- Greeting Cards and Railroads
2. Fun New York City attractions
3. Dallas, Texas – A Vibrant Cosmopolitan City
4. Restaurant reviews: Gallaghers Steak House, Atlantic City, NJ
5. Is it better to live in the city or the country?